Five Powerful Lessons from a Week in Barbados with Extraordinary Black Women

Friendships are so important for me, and it is something I don’t take for granted. I have a few people that are special for me, and I can count on one hand how many people I have that are true, die hard, ride or die friends! For my bestie of over 44 years 60th birthday, she gathered eight phenomenal Black women for a week of celebration, sisterhood, and renewal in Barbados. What unfolded was more than just a vacation—it was a masterclass in joy, resilience, and the deep power of community. Against the backdrop of stunning beaches, vibrant culture, and the rhythmic pulse of island life, we reconnected with ourselves and each other. This journey was more than just an escape; it was a sacred retreat where we rediscovered our strength, our laughter, and the necessity of prioritizing ourselves. Here are five transformative lessons I took away from this life-giving experience:

1. Rest is Essential
Too often, we wear exhaustion as a badge of honor, believing that productivity is the ultimate measure of our worth. In Barbados, I was reminded that rest is not a luxury—it is a necessity. No one brought their computers, and no one did any work! The sound of the ocean, the warmth of the sun, and the gentle rhythm of island life taught me that slowing down is an act of self-preservation. We must give ourselves permission to pause, to breathe, and to replenish our spirits. Rest is not something we should feel guilty about; it is fuel for our purpose. Watching the waves roll in and out reminded me that nature itself embraces rest as part of its cycle. Just as the ocean ebbs and flows, so must we.

2. Black Women Are Powerful
Spending time with these women—each of whom carries wisdom, strength, and grace—was a testament to the power of Black womanhood. We shared stories of triumph and perseverance, and I was reminded that our collective resilience is unshakable. The way we uplifted each other, spoke life into one another, and honored our journeys revealed just how formidable we are. Black women have always been the backbone of families, communities, and movements, but this experience reinforced the importance of also being the backbone for each other. When Black women come together, we are unstoppable forces of love, healing, and transformation. Seeing these women, each accomplished in their own right, embrace their authenticity without pretense was a reminder that our true power lies in being unapologetically ourselves.

3. The Support of Black Women Is Life-Giving
There is nothing like the affirmation, laughter, and encouragement of Black women. Throughout the week, we lifted each other up, offered words of wisdom, and created space for vulnerability. It was a reminder that true support is more than just being present—it’s about being intentional in our love, our listening, and our care for one another. The moments of deep conversation, the spontaneous laughter, the knowing glances that needed no words—these were the sacred exchanges that nourished our souls. It reinforced for me that sisterhood is not just about friendship; it is a sanctuary. When we show up for each other, we cultivate a foundation of strength that carries us forward long after the trip ends.

4. Live Every Day with Unapologetic Joy
Joy is our birthright, and we must claim it without hesitation. Whether it was savoring delicious food, soaking in breathtaking views, or simply relishing each other’s presence, we embraced happiness without restraint. We did not wait for a special occasion to celebrate—we made every moment special. This week taught me that we do not need permission to be happy. We do not need to shrink ourselves or dim our light for fear of taking up too much space. We deserve to live fully and joyfully every single day. Too often, the world places limitations on Black women’s joy, telling us when, where, and how we should express it. But we laughed loudly, danced freely, and created memories without inhibition. Joy, after all, is an act of resistance, and we must guard it fiercely.

5. Dance Like No One Is Watching
From the beaches to the dance floors, we moved with freedom and abandon. Every night, we spent time dancing and trying to learn new line dances, much to our struggle! Dancing became a metaphor for life—expressing ourselves without fear, embracing the rhythm of the moment, and refusing to be constrained by expectation. There is something liberating about moving your body to music without concern for how you look or who is watching. It is a reminder that we should live with the same kind of freedom—unbothered by judgment, uninhibited by societal expectations, and fully present in our own experience. Life is too short to sit on the sidelines. Whether it’s dancing, pursuing a dream, or speaking our truth, we must move boldly and unapologetically through life. Dance, love, and live out loud.

This week in paradise was more than just a trip; it was a reaffirmation of everything that makes life rich and beautiful. It was a reminder that Black women, in all our brilliance, deserve spaces where we can exhale, recharge, and simply be. New and lasting friendships were formed, and our lives will not be the same after our time with our friend. As we continue to hold all that we gained on our trip, may we all embrace rest, honor our power, cherish our sisters, claim our joy, and dance through life with fearless abandon. I am blessed to have my friend, and grateful for her vision of creating space for us to celebrate her…and each other!

The Importance of Connection

I recently had a conversation with someone and we spoke about the importance of friendships and connectiveness in a world that can sometimes feel isolating. That person and I were able to talk about who we have in our lives that speak to us in a variety of ways, and conversely, what it feels like when we don’t have those people who are present and who love on us. These friendships and relationships are places where we can be fully who we are, can be challenged and held accountable, and can be pushed to become better people.

We are living in a time that often moves at the speed of light, and we may find that connection can feel elusive. Yet, at the core of what it means to be human is our need to connect—emotionally, psychologically, socially, and culturally. For the Black community, the importance of connection carries both universal and culturally specific significance. It is intertwined with psychological well-being, resilience, and collective identity. Let’s explore the importance of connection through the lenses of psychology and Blackness, where individual and collective bonds are vital to navigating life’s complexities.

Connection and Psychology: A Core Human Need

Psychologically, connection is not just a “nice-to-have” but an essential need. Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needsplaces love and belonging just above the basic physiological and safety needs. This includes relationships with family, friends, and community, which serve as foundations for self-esteem and self-actualization.

Research shows that strong social connections lead to better mental health outcomes. Loneliness and social isolation have been linked to depression, anxiety, and even physical health problems like cardiovascular issues. On the other hand, meaningful relationships foster emotional regulation, stress relief, and psychological resilience. The act of sharing one’s experiences and emotions with others reduces the burdens we carry, fostering a sense of relief and hope.

For Black individuals, psychological connection goes beyond the individual. The connection to culture, history, and community often acts as a buffer against the harmful effects of racism, discrimination, and systemic oppression.

Blackness and the Cultural Importance of Connection

Within the Black community, connection is not just about personal relationships but also about the collective experience. From the rich traditions of oral storytelling to communal support systems, Black culture is steeped in practices that emphasize the importance of being linked to one another. This connection forms a crucial part of Black identity.

Historically, the Black community has faced overwhelming challenges—from slavery and segregation to ongoing racial disparities in health, wealth, and education. These struggles could have isolated individuals or fragmented communities. Yet, the opposite has often been true. Connection—to family, faith, and community—has been a lifeline.

The Role of Ubuntu: “I Am Because We Are”

A concept often associated with African culture is Ubuntu, which means “I am because we are.” This philosophy emphasizes that one’s humanity is intrinsically linked to the humanity of others. It’s a worldview where individuals find their sense of purpose and meaning in relation to their community. In a broader context, Ubuntu underscores the importance of interdependence, a concept mirrored in psychology’s understanding of attachment and relational theories.

Within the African-American experience, connection to ancestors, shared struggles, and communal triumphs have been central to survival and thriving. These bonds are not just emotional but cultural. Whether through church communities, activism, art, or music, there is a profound legacy of Black people connecting with one another to uplift, resist, and reclaim space.

Psychological Resilience Through Cultural Connection

For Black people, connection is not only important but vital for psychological resilience. Racial trauma—the emotional and psychological harm caused by racism—can deeply affect mental health. A strong connection to community and culture acts as a protective factor. Being part of a group with shared experiences fosters a sense of belonging and shared purpose, which can counteract the feelings of marginalization and isolation that often accompany racial discrimination.

Furthermore, the strength of intergenerational ties within Black families often becomes a source of wisdom, courage, and guidance. Elders pass down stories of resilience, faith, and survival, connecting past struggles to present and future hopes. This continuity of knowledge and support strengthens individuals and the collective body of Blackness.

Challenges to Connection: The Impact of Trauma

However, connection within the Black community is not without its challenges. Historical trauma—such as the transatlantic slave trade, Jim Crow laws, and ongoing systemic oppression—has sometimes disrupted Black families and communities. Post-Traumatic Slave Syndrome (PTSS) highlights how centuries of dehumanization have lingering effects, including disrupted family structures and strained relationships.

Psychologically, trauma can impact one’s ability to connect with others. Survivors of trauma often experience difficulty in trusting others, forming secure attachments, and developing healthy relationships. The Black community, bearing the weight of both individual and collective trauma, faces unique challenges in fostering connection while also possessing the profound resilience to rebuild those bonds.

Healing Through Reconnection

Despite the challenges posed by systemic oppression and historical trauma, reconnection has been a source of healing. Therapeutic practices such as family therapy, support groups, and community-based mental health programs offer pathways for Black individuals to reclaim and strengthen their connections. For instance, narrative therapy encourages individuals to reclaim their stories, which fosters a sense of agency and connection to their own experiences.

In spiritual and religious spaces, reconnection often occurs through rituals and collective worship, where the community gathers to affirm its shared values, history, and hope for the future. These spiritual practices often provide a balm for the wounds inflicted by a world that too often marginalizes and devalues Blackness.

Connection as a Lifeline

At its core, connection is a psychological lifeline and a cultural imperative. For Black individuals, it is through connection to self, others, community, and culture that strength and resilience emerge. Whether facing the daily microaggressions of modern life or the historical weight of systemic injustice, connection remains a vital element of healing and thriving.

In a world that sometimes tries to divide and isolate, the act of connecting—to people, stories, and traditions—is an act of resistance and empowerment. By nurturing these bonds, Black individuals and communities not only survive but thrive, building a legacy of hope, resilience, and collective strength.