It’s good to be back here! For those of you who follow me, you know I have not posted anything for several months, and to be honest, I could not find the words to write. As I shared in my first post, this blog was started in honor of my beautiful, courageous, amazing mother and grandmother. This space has been therapeutic for me and has enabled me to share from a variety of topics in an effort to help not only myself, but anyone who joins me on this journey. Since the inception of this blog, I have lost several other amazing, powerful, influential women in my life (most recently my beautiful friend and co-grandmother Diane Harris, who lost her courageous battle with breast cancer), and it has been difficult.

During the last few months, I have wrestled with grief, purpose, and legacy. We have reached the one year mark for the passing of my mother. I have taken the space to focus on my grief and have engaged in some much needed down time to get myself in a good space (not that I have arrived, but I’m a work in progress). I have thought about how we function in this current dumpster fire world we are living in, and have heard from so many people who are struggling with life in general. In my counseling sessions, I have shared space with people who are dealing with relationship issues, illnesses, trauma, and just a general struggle with day to day living. The themes are common and the struggle is real! I have talked to friends who are dealing with so much in life, and the ability to overcome these afflictions have been difficult. How do we find ways to be there for each other and continue to lift one another up?

In a recent conversation, I was speaking to someone who shared that everything they try to do in life has come with great struggle. They were sharing that they know people who everything happens very easily for, but that it was not their experience. I resonated with their plight, because I too have had success come with great struggle. I tread lightly when I say “everything happens very easily for”, because what we see on the outside is not always what it is. With that being said however, there are people that move through life with minimum difficulty. In my conversation with this person, I asked them “what can we learn from the struggle”?

Through struggle, we learn faith. Those of you who know the Bible, know the story of Job. Job had everything taken from him and was left with nothing but his faith in God. Even when his wife and friends told him he should give up, Job was steadfast in his faith and trust in God. I recognize when reading this story that this is not an easy place to be. Job lost his children and all of his possessions, yet he still held on to his faith. Job recognized that everything he had was due to God’s grace and that only what is gained through Christ will last.

Through struggle, we learn resilience. The ability to bounce back from negativity is a gift. To believe that we are going to make it, no matter what the circumstances look like is a blessing. Even when we don’t know how we are going to get through our current situation, the ability to look back and see how far we have come speaks to the resilience that rests within us. It helps us to stay in the fight even when we feel like we are losing. It helps us realize that we are stronger than we know, we are more resilient than we often believe.

Through struggle, we learn patience. Patience does not come easily for many. We live in a world where we want things quickly and freely. The faster we are able to have something, or do something, the happier we are. We want it and we want it now! Having to work and wait for something, no matter what it is, allows us to recognize the value of that thing and to treasure it and honor it for what it is.

Through struggle, we learn community. I have realized who my “people” are when I have gone through difficult times. I have learned who I can open up and share my true self with, and who is there because of what they think our relationship brings. I have said before that just because someone is on the same team as you, doesn’t mean they are rooting for you to win. I have found out who is rooting for me to win and celebrating with me, and who isn’t. That, in itself, is a major win!

Through struggle, we learn strength!

I titled this post “It is good that I have been afflicted” and I truly believe that! I am certainly not saying “good” as if there are things I wouldn’t gladly give back and not have to experience, such as loss, hurt, failed relationships, etc. However, through my afflictions I have gained more wisdom, power, strength and joy than I could have ever imagined. I have discovered who God is and who I am, and the power that is within me. I have realized my greatness in ways I would not have if every day had been smooth. I have learned lessons I would not have if I didn’t have challenges. I embrace the lessons of my past so my present and future can be brighter.

I asked a question earlier, and that was “how do we find ways to be there for each other and to lift each other up”? I believe that we do that by sharing our stories and authenticity with each other so in times of doubt, we can encourage others through our testimony. I believe we must take the time to help others when we can. Luvvie Ajayi Jones shared her very simple daily prayer, and that is to “let my helpers find me”. There are ways we can be helpers to others, and if we allow ourselves to be there for them, we may find an added blessing in the journey. I also believe we should show love, one to another, so that in difficult times, others know that they are not alone in the journey. Life can be hard, but we can get through it together!

Blessings and love!