Unfortunately, I write this blog right after saying goodbye to my great-aunt Aleathea Germany. She is the one in the picture I posted in February, and at that time I shared that I was blessed that she was still here. She was 87 years old and was the one that looked out for us after my grandmother passed away. She told us often that she promised my grandmother that she would take care of my mother, my sister and myself, and that she did well! Since then, she has loved on my children and granddaughters as well!

As we were attending her Homegoing or Celebration of Life service, I was struck by a thought. We celebrate the life of our loved ones after they pass, but how often do we do it for those who are living? How much do we let our people know that we love them, we see them, and we honor them? We often get so bogged down by the minutia of life, that even with the best intentions, we struggle to find the time to be consistent, patient and kind.

At the beginning of 2021, I shared with my husband that each month I was going to do something for someone I loved. Now this did not have to only be a family member or close friend, but could include people I wanted to let know they are valued as part of my life. These gifts could include an inspirational book, a custom t-shirt, a gift card to a restaurant, a trinket, etc. I wanted to do this to let people know they are seen and loved. This was important to me because we survived a very difficult 2020, and isolation, stress and anxiety are real! As a counselor, I am acutely aware that “just because I carry a load well doesn’t mean it isn’t heavy”. We are all going through something, and the strongest of us need to have the space to say “I’m not okay, I feel ______”. To receive a token of love can be uplifting, and my hope is that they will know that I am here and I see them.

I also realize that in caring for others, and celebrating who they are, I often neglect to do the same for myself…as I am certain many of you do as well. In celebrating me, I must celebrate all of who I am. That can be difficult at times, because when I look at me, I often see the flaws, the shortcomings, the struggles…not the beauty, the strength, and resilience that is also a big part of who I am. I had to remind myself who I was and who I came from and that was uplifting for me. It made me realize that my greatness is non-negotiable, my power is real, my body is beautiful, and my accomplishments are a demonstration of my perseverance.

I came across this poem a few weeks ago and it speaks directly to what I am speaking of with regards to loving my whole self, flaws and all!

My mother-in-law, Barbara Lewis (who was an amazing, loving, beautiful woman in her own right), use to say all the time, “give people their flowers while they are alive”. That always resonated with me because it is so very important to do. Once people are gone, they can’t smell the flowers, hear the positive words, or know how valued they are.

Celebrate people while they are living, let them know you love them, and celebrate your life as well…they are worth it, you are worth it! And if no one has told you today…I love you and appreciate you for being here!