When my mother passed away on September 28, 2020, my sister and I were tasked with planning a service for her that honored the queen she was. In that planning, I knew that I wanted to speak at her funeral to share my thoughts about the 55 years I had her here on earth with me. In thinking about what I would say, I reflected on the hero she was and on the strength she exhibited each and every day of her life, even while dealing with progressive Multiple Sclerosis. She lived her life to the absolute fullest, and I want to remind you to do the same.
Below, you will find the words I spoke at my mother’s funeral. I encourage you as you read this, to find the heroes who are here with us right now and honor them while you can.
These are the words I shared:
How do I begin to honor my mother through this medium in a matter of a few minutes? This is something I have thought about, and prayed about, for several days now. In thinking about this, I have been reminded how 2020 has come through and brought some tremendous losses to us as a community. In February of 2020 Kobe Bryant, the Black Mamba died. In July of 2020, Congressman John Lewis, a Black civil rights leader died. In August of 2020 Chadwick Boseman, the Black Panther died, and in September 2020 Sharon Broadnax, our Black Queen died. Now some of you may wonder, how is she going to compare Sharon Broadnax to Kobe, John and Chadwick?! I’m going to answer that for you right now!
Kobe Bryant made his imprint in the world by being the Black Mamba, and in living he demonstrated strength, resilience, and dedication to his craft in the world of basketball. There were numerous quotes he has been coined with, but two that resonate with me are “Everything negative — pressure, challenges — is all an opportunity for me to rise.”…and “I have self-doubt. I have insecurity. I have fear of failure. I have nights when I show up at the arena and I’m like, ‘My back hurts, my feet hurt, my knees hurt. I don’t have it. I just want to chill.’ We all have self-doubt. You don’t deny it, but you also don’t capitulate to it. You embrace it.” When Kobe was asked to talk about his definition of the Mamba mentality, he said “Mamba mentality is all about focusing on the process and trusting in the hard work when it matters most, It’s the ultimate mantra for the competitive spirit. It started just as a hashtag that came to me one day, and it’s grown into something athletes — and even non-athletes — embrace as a mindset.”
Congressman John Lewis made a tremendous impact in our nation though his tenacity, drive, self-sacrifice, and perseverance. He believed that we have to stand up and fight for what is right, even if you have to do it alone. He is quoted as saying, “Never let anyone – any person or force – dampen, dim or diminish your light.” He also believed that “you cannot be afraid to speak up and speak out for what you believe. You have to have courage, raw courage.”
Chadwick Boseman, the Black Panther, passed away recently after battling colon cancer. Chadwick did not share his diagnosis with anyone and went about his life making an enormous impact on the world by his dedication, drive, and commitment to his craft and to the culture through his acting. I would imagine that he did not share what he was going through because he didn’t want to be looked at a certain way or judged by others. He left an incredible legacy in this world and his work is a lasting impression on his purpose. When Chadwick was asked about using one’s time wisely, he is quoted as saying “You have to cherish things in a different way when you know the clock is ticking, you are under pressure.” When he discussed understanding your purpose in this world, he is remembered as saying, “Purpose crosses disciplines. Purpose is an essential element of you. It is the reason you are on the planet at this particular time in history.”
Sharon Broadnax, our Black Queen, passed away after a long and celebrated life that included her journey of living with Multiple Sclerosis. She wasn’t a famous basketball player, she wasn’t a civil rights activist, she wasn’t a famous actor, but like those before her, she was a hero, a representative of the culture, one who left it all on the field for those she loved. My mom loved her children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren. She left a legacy of strength and resilience that will impact the world through her offspring. She raised her daughters to know that they are strong, independent, confident women who could achieve anything they put their minds to. She demonstrated courage and grace in everything she did. When my mom was diagnosed with MS, we were there with her and I remember her saying, “finally, we know what this is so now we know how to fight it.” She did not let her diagnosis define her, nor did it stop her from doing anything in this life.
She raised her grandchildren to know that they are leaders, loved and capable of overcoming any hurdle set before them, no matter what the naysayers say. She believed in them…through her eyes, they were only seen as successful, beautiful and competent young people. She cheered them on at every event they had, and everyone who knew her knew how special her grandchildren were and how much she loved and honored them.
She raised her great grandchildren to know that their voice matters, that they are phenomenal little queens and kings, and that the world is theirs to take on. Her tenacity can be seen in each of them, and her love and care was showered on them daily. She made sure to celebrate them, attending their school events, hosting birthday tea parties and Easter egg hunts, and taking them on movie and lunch dates whenever a new children’s movie came out.
We must be careful who we look to as heroes, because if we only look to those who are famous and rich, we miss the heroes that are living in front of us every day. My mother was a hero, and that was demonstrated by the way she lived her life…unapologetically, on her own terms, and in her own way. She did not live in sadness or defeat, and she did more living with her illness than most people do without. We often had to call her to find out what her plans were for the day because we knew she was not sitting at home just twiddling her thumbs. It would not be a surprise for her friends and former coworkers to see her downtown at the farmers market or on campus getting her lunch and sightseeing. She loved shopping, and she would get on the bus and travel to Tuttle Mall, Meijer’s or Target to generally buy something for her great grands.
My mother was a hero by how she loved others. My mother wasn’t one that was easy to get to know, but once she knew and loved you, it was forever. My mother was a hero by how she worked with others. She was a hard and dedicated worker and did everything to the best of her ability. She did not believe in making excuses, but in pushing forward and making things happen. My mother would beat me to church when she started attending Bethany, and she was there every Sunday! My mother was not perfect by any means, as none of us are, but she was perfectly my mother.
There are heroes among us, and I encourage all of you to find them and to be them in life. My mother was a hero in the fact that she celebrated every holiday with her whole heart! She called us every birthday and sang a wonderfully original version of happy birthday, and we looked forward to it every year. We will no longer hear her sing happy birthday, but in my head, I hear her new song and I pray it comforts my sister, my children, my niece, and my grandchildren. That song is one we use to hear at Friendship, “I am free, praise the Lord I’m free, no longer bound, no more chains holding me, my soul is resting, it’s just a blessing, praise the Lord, hallelujah I’m free”.
My mother has joined the ancestors now, Grandpa Mark, Grandma Della, Grandma Laura and Aunt Mona welcomed her with open arms on September 28th. Our loss here on earth is her gain in heaven. My mother is free and is running around heaven with her family and I take solace in that.
My sister and I are grateful to all of you for your love and support through this difficult time and we appreciate your continued prayers for our family. To Fatima, who took amazing care of our mom during the last 4 years, we could not have done any of this without you and to you we are grateful! To our children, we celebrate you and want you to know how much Grandma Sharon loved you. She was always bursting with pride at all you did. To her great grandchildren, I cannot even do justice to how she felt about you! To her friends Eloise and Charlotte, thank you for loving her and being there for her for such a long time. And to my sister, I would not have wanted to take this difficult journey with anyone but you. We made all our decisions together and we honored our mother in every way possible. I love you and I am always here for you!
To my mother, my hero, my friend I say…you were there when I took my very first breath in this world, and I was there when you took your very last. For all the breaths in between, and for all the breaths after, I thank you, I love you, and I will live out your legacy of strength, power, care, love and magic! Rest well mom, you deserve it!
In Her Honor 